Believe The Hope

Paul Nottoli (00:02.256)
Hello and welcome to another episode of the Believe the Whole podcast. I am here with Bobbi Oliver. Bobbi Oliver is an entrepreneur located in Denver, Colorado. She has a background in business and economics and she has successfully started, built and sold multiple businesses over the past five years. Currently, Bobbi's primary focus is on real estate investing, particularly in land acquisitions and development across Colorado. She's working

with the city of Denver to create more affordable housing options. She attributes your success to the support of friends and the invaluable guidance of her mentors. Bobby has big plans for the future and is excited for the opportunities to make an even greater impact in her community. me, in her community. Thanks for coming on, Bobby.

Bobby Oliver (00:48.088)
Thank you so much for having me, Paul. I'm so happy to be here today.

Paul Nottoli (00:51.686)
Yeah, so we met at a, I don't know, mastermind or dinner, entrepreneur dinner in Vegas with Dave Meltzer and Sean Lacey from Black Diamond Club. And obviously we got to talking. I was inspired by your story because the fact that, like you said, you're 26 and you've already built and sold and did these businesses even at a young age. And I think that's important because I know we talked a little bit before we started recording here about how

Sometimes the younger generation or the generation that everybody feels like they can't contribute because it's the whole fear of like, I think every generation says that about the other one behind it. It's just like, they're going to ruin everything when they end up, everything ends up turning out okay. So one, I was really impressed. I learned a lot from your perspective on business and success in life, which I think multiple people, if they just stop talking and listening, you can learn from

all different avenues and ages and everything. yeah, you're welcome. So my first question that I always ask is, because everyone has a different perspective on it, is what does hope mean to them personally?

Bobby Oliver (01:54.606)
I absolutely agree. Thank you so much.

Bobby Oliver (02:07.32)
love this question so much and it is so underrated. Like this topic I think is so underrated.

I wish I had, you know, like a definition and I don't, think more, just have multiple experiences throughout my life where I could say that's an example of what hope is. But I think to put it shortly, I would just say that hope is the belief that the best potential is possible. There's, there's equal opportunity for good and bad in the world. And so if you think that

the worst is going to happen, you're probably going to get that if you think the best is going to happen, you're probably going to get that. Now, I say probably, right? I don't say it's a certainty that you will get that because we don't control everything. But I am a big believer that we get what we're looking for. And that is what hope is. Hope is the idea that there is something better that we can strive for that if we look for it, we will find it.

Paul Nottoli (02:54.416)
You

Paul Nottoli (03:12.976)
Yeah, I like that. It's the was that JFK that said that quote, but if you believe you can or can't, I don't know if that was JFK, but it's whatever that quote is. If you can, can't write. Yeah. So I think that guy goes in the whole, whole perspective. And for the historians, if they're like, this guy's crazy. He just said, JFK said that. I don't know. I just, there's a, there's a, yeah, I don't know. Or he gave a speech with that quote in it. I don't remember either way.

Bobby Oliver (03:21.678)
what is it if you believe you can or can't either way you're right.

Bobby Oliver (03:34.926)
Put a nice name on it, it'll sound better.

Paul Nottoli (03:42.872)
Yeah. Either way it's that, yeah, if you believe you can or can't, you're both men, both men are right. and yeah, that is, it helps you shift in that perspective of, yeah, giving you opportunity or stepping into something, which I like. Do you have a, yeah. Do you have a personal journey or story where you had to kind of dig deep in that and that believe in that, that.

Bobby Oliver (03:48.983)
Yep.

Bobby Oliver (03:58.936)
There are so many possibilities, so many.

Paul Nottoli (04:12.218)
definition of hope for you that kind of that pulled you out of that situation.

Bobby Oliver (04:17.752)
Sure, yeah, think there's so many and I think it happens like more often than it should. I tend to be like unrealistically optimistic. It's one of my downfalls. I say it's a downfall because sometimes I can't see the realistic analysis, right? I'll just be so unrealistically optimistic. And I think there's a difference between false optimism and hope. Hope I think is saying,

Paul Nottoli (04:36.025)
Yeah.

Bobby Oliver (04:45.678)
I'll do everything I can for this to work out and then I'll let go of the rest and however it works out, I trust in that outcome. And so having that hope that that best outcome is available to you. I mean, I could give you an example from yesterday or from a week ago or 10 years ago. Like I just have so many examples of that. And I think I've learned to lean into hope more than leaning into

blind optimism or unrealistic optimism. I'll give you a very recent example. had, it's so crazy how stuff works. I had, I buy and sell land here in Colorado, right? And I was actually, while I was in Vegas, I had just gotten home and I had like drove all night. I was exhausted and I get a phone call the next morning from someone who sold me a property.

Paul Nottoli (05:23.728)
you

Bobby Oliver (05:39.968)
And they said, hey, did you hear about the fire? And I was thinking, I know that there's fires all over Colorado, but I've been gone. What's going on? And now keep in mind, this person, she sold me this piece of vacant land up in the mountains. We don't really get a lot of fires up there. It was pretty unlikely. And she said, well, that the entire ridge where the property is at is burnt down. There was a really bad fire.

It's burnt down and instantly I just go into panic mode for a good 15 to 20 seconds. Like trying to keep my cool though, right? Trying to be professional about this. And she says, she lives in like Minnesota now, like she's out of state. So she hadn't seen it yet, but she goes, yeah, I had a family member drive out there who lives nearby just to take a look and see how bad it was so I could let you know. And she...

Paul Nottoli (06:09.041)
Yeah.

Paul Nottoli (06:13.284)
Mm -hmm.

Bobby Oliver (06:33.164)
this person drove out there and they said, well, I'm not even going to take pictures because the property is fine. Everything else around it is burned. The trees are still there. The grass is still there. There's no changes to the property. And I immediately was just like calm. Now that property value is going to stay the same. really changes for us. But while I was having that conversation with this person,

Between the panic and then the confidence that everything would be okay. There was that little bit of hope that said, man, I really hope that whatever comes of this is for the better. I hope that anyone who is close by the fire is okay. I hope that we're still going to have the same value in the property. I hope I can still resell this. hope I can still build on it before I knew this, that the property was fine.

Paul Nottoli (07:26.949)
Yeah.

Bobby Oliver (07:27.174)
And it happened all so rapidly, right? But it was that little ounce of hope of, I just think that everything won't just be fine, but that the outcome will be good or better than I could expect. And it was perfect. It was exactly as it should have been. The property's untouched and it was just amazing. And I was so grateful that everything was fine. But I mean, hope is one of those things where it's always gotten me.

Paul Nottoli (07:44.184)
Yeah, yeah.

Bobby Oliver (07:56.046)
to the next mile marker, right? Where there's, you can't quite have the confidence because you don't have the experience in that situation yet. And so you're really just walking blindly in the direction that you think you're supposed to go. And I just have had so many instances of that, that fire being the most recent, but I constantly have those in my life. And it's what pushes me, I think, to keep going because I know that there's always something better waiting for me.

Paul Nottoli (08:27.718)
do like how you said how within like 20 seconds that whole reality changed. And I think a lot of times we get information or news and our immediate reaction is to what's the worst possible scenario that this is going to have and how is it going to just ruin everything in my life? And then you literally just paused, stay calm. And then the ending was something totally, totally everything was fine. It was perfect. I mean,

Bobby Oliver (08:44.141)
Yeah.

Paul Nottoli (08:57.306)
did not have any damage whatsoever, but just in general, like there was no damage and everything stayed the same. I think that's a good lesson for just you can find hope in just pausing and just, yeah, which is easier said than done. I know I'm not speaking to the choir for myself. My emotion, yeah, I tend to react emotionally, not logically, which unfortunately that.

Bobby Oliver (09:15.502)
Right, we want to see people vote for us.

Paul Nottoli (09:23.258)
have to usually take a step back before I say anything or do anything because I know I'll just, yeah. but I think that's important to that, that sometimes that space of information or news versus what reality is going to, which I think you touched on that instead of that unrealistic optimism or you have the hope and that hope can be in that gap of just space and calmness in that, or at least trying to be, more calm and not think about.

Bobby Oliver (09:27.49)
you

Paul Nottoli (09:52.868)
how everything is ruined, but what, like you said, what the hope is and what the perspective on this and how is it going to be at the end of it? What's that all going to look like? And that's, that's scary. Yeah, that's scary.

Bobby Oliver (10:03.704)
Well...

Yeah, very scary. Well, and you bring up a good point too, and I thought about this prior to our call. know, hope is not a necessary emotion. It does not have anything to do with our biological upbringing. It's not a survival skill. I would almost say that hope is a learned emotion, and I think that's why it's so hard for people to, number one, understand it.

Number two, accept it and utilize it because it's not natural to our brains, to our minds, to our perception to incorporate hope, right? We're always looking, our brain immediately looks at worst case scenario, am I safe? Are my resources safe? Are my assets safe? We don't think about, I really hope that everything is okay. It's usually, no, what just went wrong? Am I doomed? And so I think you have to have a high EQ.

in order to incorporate that hope, believing that everything will be better. And it's good to know, right? Because I think it's, we can be so hard on ourselves for not being hopeful, when in reality, it's normal for us to not be hopeful. And it's normal for us to struggle with feeling hopeful. It is a learned feeling. But once you do that, you learn it's a lot easier to maintain feeling hopeful, but it is practice, practice, practice, practice of being hopeful.

Paul Nottoli (11:31.718)
And what do you think those practices to cultivate that hope if someone is, you know, they've had a tough life that seems like they, you know, they're in that you've, mean, I've had these conversations where like, can something just go right? Like one time this week or month or whatever, or the year, you know, you, you, you have those where it just seems like everything is just like, I just got punched in the face again for the 150 time. if it, if you feel like it is a learned behavior, what are, what, how are people cultivating them?

Bobby Oliver (11:44.334)
Yeah.

Paul Nottoli (12:00.046)
behavior, what are they looking for, what are they trying to surround themselves with to be able to find that and learn that behavior of hope.

Bobby Oliver (12:06.968)
That's such a good question. I love that. I think I think it does depend on the person right like I am very prone to anxiety and I tend to worry about everything and I overthink everything. Not everyone's that way. But I know for me who's more on the extreme side of anxiety. It takes a lot of self awareness, which I'm horrible out for the most part, but we're trying we're But having that self awareness and saying how am I

Paul Nottoli (12:32.528)
Good.

Bobby Oliver (12:36.536)
feeling right now? Where are these feelings coming from? And how are they contributing to how I'm acting? I think understanding yourself and being fully honest with yourself about your emotions and your feelings is so important. And I say that for guys and for girls, right? Because we put on this external face of everything is okay. But I think we also put on a face for ourselves. We don't really allow ourselves time, we don't give ourselves grace.

for feeling negative or for feeling worried or for feeling hopeless. But I think if we could be honest with ourselves and say, understand this is how you feel, that's okay to feel that way. Let's feel better somehow. How do we want to do that? You kind of have to play therapist with yourself. I do that a lot for me. And it's life -changing when you can just be honest and loving with yourself. So I would say that's number one on the internal side.

Paul Nottoli (13:24.71)
Mm

Bobby Oliver (13:33.748)
is that self -awareness. then I think, you know, externally, what contributes to us feeling hopeful, I would say, is being around other people who are hopeful, like David Meltzer, who we both know and love, one of the most hopeful people you'll ever meet. And he has so much going on in his life. Like he has just, I can't even imagine how much hope that person has to have.

To get through his day sometimes because he just handles everything so well and he just has this this confidence and hope almost and so I know that like working with him one on one over the last goodness it's been almost a year I think has completely changed how I grasp on to hope and how often I use it right it's like a tool in your tool belt it's up to you how often you want to use it but being around people who are constantly hopeful.

Paul Nottoli (14:02.022)
Mm

Bobby Oliver (14:28.182)
Again, not unrealistically optimistic, but hopeful having those circles. And then I would say just what you consume is so important. If I'm consuming negative news or if I'm consuming just stuff that wastes my time, like Instagram or social media things that really serve no purpose, it's going to not encourage my brain to.

operate fully, right? Those neurons won't be firing that creative part of my brain is not really working. And I think, I think that's harmful to our brains, because we're not going to get off of our phone and go into the real world thinking, man, I can work through anything today. You're essentially numbing yourself when you're just consuming negativity. And so if you have a negative experience, you're going to think about what you just saw, which is negativity.

Paul Nottoli (14:54.533)
Mm -hmm.

Paul Nottoli (15:08.688)
Mm -hmm.

Bobby Oliver (15:19.03)
On the flip side, if you are looking for things that are hopeful, if you're reading good books, if you're listening to good music, if you're meditating, if you have these hopeful, positive thoughts, I think, and from my experience, you will go into the day, you will go into a situation with those tools in your tool belt, easily accessible because you've been practicing them, you've been learning them day after day after day. So those are just a few tools that work for me. I'm sure there's a bunch of others.

I know some people get tattoos or they have like, you know, the words in the word wall art that says hope or live, laugh, love, right? But yeah, it differs for everyone for sure. Yeah. Of course. How could it not? That's a staple of America. Live, laugh, love.

Paul Nottoli (15:52.834)
Yeah. Mm hmm. Yeah. Every Airbnb in America has live, laugh, love everywhere on it, everywhere on it. This is the state of America's Airbnb or your grandma's house. Or is that your grandma's house? Yeah, and I would I want to have believe the whole podcast, so keep listening as a tool for others to if they're

Bobby Oliver (16:11.022)
Or your grandma's yes.

Paul Nottoli (16:22.714)
going through a rough time that they can listen to an interview that of someone in similar situations, demographics, professional, whatever it is, can listen to these interviews and find that hope as well. I do, like you said, yeah, building a tool. I'm just doing, this is fun. So, and it's necessary, I think it's necessary to have more hope and positivity in the world.

Bobby Oliver (16:37.984)
Love that. See another good tool. You're building a tool right now. You probably didn't even realize what you're doing.

Bobby Oliver (16:47.182)
So necessary. Yes. Love that.

Paul Nottoli (16:54.148)
You said that you said something to where you don't basically take inventory on yourself. And I think that's important as well. I feel like we lie to ourselves a lot to try to make sure everything to be all the time. And I, I, know my semi coaches, I've even heard Dave say it before of different, different ways they described it, but essentially it's keep the promise you made to yourself. So

Bobby Oliver (17:08.844)
Big time, all the time.

Paul Nottoli (17:22.99)
If you're struggling, if you're going for something, if you're trying to make your life better, you're going to go through a lot of, there is pain, there is pain and growth, is pain and, and not necessarily bad pain, just uncomfortable pain in general. and, but keeping the promise to yourself and keep showing up of how you want to show up into the world. I think that it's, that can cultivate a lot of hope because you, you, you're constantly.

This is how I'm going to show up in the world and how anybody takes that. That's not my responsibility. But I know I can always show up and keep that promise to myself when things are chaotic or things aren't going well or yeah, just all different things that life throws at us on a 24 seven basis or social media or what or whatnot. So.

Bobby Oliver (18:12.616)
Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, you have to keep that promise to yourself. Like, and you're right, Dave always says be kind to your future self. I don't know about you, but I did not understand what he meant for like the longest time. And then I read his book and like started working with him one on one and it finally clicked with me. I got to show up for myself. And I got to show up for my future self. Got to be kind to my future self. Like I love that so much.

Paul Nottoli (18:26.804)
Mm

Paul Nottoli (18:36.036)
Mm -hmm. Gotta be kind.

Paul Nottoli (18:41.136)
How does one of our listeners or just individually help bring more hope to their community or their world in quotation marks because everybody's world is a little different. So it may be family, it may be their community, it may be church, it may be whatever, business, whatnot. What is that? How would you say that people do that?

Bobby Oliver (18:50.222)
Ooh.

Bobby Oliver (19:05.326)
That's hard because everyone is so different. know, I think I got to talk about this with my partner quite frequently. Are you familiar with like the 16 personality test? The Myers -Briggs.

Paul Nottoli (19:15.43)
Slightly, haven't Meyers -Briggs. Yeah. Yeah.

Bobby Oliver (19:19.828)
It's so good. It's such a good test. And I'm not a big personality test taker. But it's funny because he and I share the same personality except he's analytical and I'm more emotional. And we just realized this like a couple weeks ago, and I've thought so much about it. And I realized, my version of hope is not going to be his version of hope. And his version of hope isn't going to be someone else's version of hope, right. And so

I mean, everyone is so different. think whatever someone wants to call it, whether it's faith or hope and however they want to utilize it, I think that's really like a question that's individualized. I I would almost say you need to write this down. Like, what do what would I define hope as and how am I using it every single day? Because it does look different for everyone and everyone's going to apply it differently. But what we do know about hope that

is a universal truth is that hope is a positive emotion, right? And so no one's ever going to be evil and say, I'm going to use hope for bad, right? Hope is a positive emotion that depends on how you want to apply it. And so being in check with yourself and I think asking what emotions am I feeling? If I want to feel hopeful, what does that look like for me? And then how am I?

passing that out to everyone else? How does everyone else also perceive that hope? How am I being an example of hope? I think those are all probably good questions, but it's just different for everyone, man. Like that's why I love people. I love the psychology of how people, you know, operate and what everything means to them because hope might mean something completely different to me than it means to you. It might mean something different to...

a Luther and then it might to a Catholic or you know there's so many different examples we could use but that's what I would say. Start writing stuff down. Start asking yourself what it even means to you and how you're going to use it.

Paul Nottoli (21:22.456)
And I think the more people that do that and they find that, I think it spreads, that positivity does spread. So more people are practicing hope in their lives. think just naturally the people that they surround themselves with, if they're around the right people, if they're in the right groups, if they're in the right community, it's contagious and it will just spread as well. yeah, that's it.

Bobby Oliver (21:31.037)
absolutely.

Bobby Oliver (21:45.646)
Mm

Bobby Oliver (21:49.966)
It's not ignorable, like hope, cannot ignore hope, especially when you hear other people say, you know, I just believed that it would work out exactly as it was supposed to and it did, and that's how they live their lives. And you start to realize that you're like missing out if you're not being hopeful. And it's so funny because the more you spend time with those people.

Paul Nottoli (22:10.022)
Mm

Bobby Oliver (22:13.388)
the more you start to think that way, which I love. Like that's one of the things I love about Dave's group is everyone in there is so hopeful and they've achieved so much and they just believe that they can keep achieving and they just keep adding to their group and it is contagious, but it's the best disease I would want to catch.

Paul Nottoli (22:31.991)
Yeah, I mean, when we were just at the dinner, I mean, we had been going all day, everybody like traveling or just whatnot, or we did the podcast interviews and we just been going on and then the meetup and just going all day. But then we were at the interview. It's almost like you got a second win because everybody was just excited to share their knowledge and expertise and help people and offer hope with, you know, some of the panel discussion. Everything was offering more hope and.

Bobby Oliver (22:44.419)
Yeah.

Paul Nottoli (22:59.474)
with people and some of questions. I felt like it was just, I was like, I'm tired, but it almost like right before dinner, but you got a little good food in you and you got, you you surround yourself with these people and it was contagious. I felt like I got a second wind out of it. And it was, you know, like, this is why you, this is why I'm showing up to these things because, you don't get this everywhere on a regular basis.

Bobby Oliver (23:15.215)
yeah, it's energizing. Yep.

Bobby Oliver (23:23.672)
Well, and I think you had told me that you weren't planning on going to the event originally and then something and you just said, I need to go, right?

Paul Nottoli (23:27.416)
Yes. I needed to go. Yeah. This is what has spawned from that by going. so that's I mean, that's this hope right there of how this all started was because it was something that I wasn't going to go to. And then and then it yeah. But then that gut that gut punch, I think that every once in a while we have and you know that there's a lane that you have to go if you don't, that opportunities maybe never come again and.

Bobby Oliver (23:35.286)
I love it.

Paul Nottoli (23:57.232)
So yeah, so it was nice. Anyway.

Bobby Oliver (23:58.859)
And this is one of them and it worked out. I love that for you. That's so great.

Paul Nottoli (24:01.592)
It worked out. It worked out. Any other insights you would like to add about hope or anything that we didn't cover that may inspire others?

Bobby Oliver (24:14.924)
I feel like I always have like a good book recommendation or something. would, but I don't know, read the Bible and I'm not even Christian anymore. Read the Bible about hope though, cause it'll teach you things. yeah, but, it's, there's so much to be hopeful for and you know, we can choose to look at the bad, we can choose to look at the good. is really all about your perspective. And I'm not saying ignore the negativity and ignore.

Paul Nottoli (24:21.068)
Just not think of it right now. the Firefox. Teach you things. Okay.

Bobby Oliver (24:45.186)
the bad things that happen in the world, think you can be aware of both, but ultimately you choose what to focus on and focusing on the good, focusing on the optimism and the hope, and then bringing in the analytics so that you make the right decisions, having that proper balance is crucial. And if you do that, you'll be just fine.

Paul Nottoli (25:05.754)
How can people connect with you more? They want to learn more about what you do, or they want to work with you, or they were inspired by your interview and want to learn more from you.

Bobby Oliver (25:16.366)
Yeah, absolutely. So I'm ramping up my social media right now as well, because I'm pretty terrible about using it. But you can email me bobby .or .oliver at gmail .com. Feel free to message me on Instagram, which is at bobbythebuilder2 .0. And those are probably the best ways to get a hold of me until I get some more contacts up, because right now it's pretty blank.

Paul Nottoli (25:39.366)
So more contact. That's awesome. Is Bobby the Builder 2 .0, is that off the Bob the Builder like cartoon or TV show or whatever?

Bobby Oliver (25:48.35)
Yeah, yeah, you know, I used to get made fun of for my name because Bobby is more like a boy's name, right? And I am named after my grandpa. And so as kids, everyone would just joke like, Bob the Builder. And then when I got older, I thought Bobby the Builder sounds pretty badass. And then I got I got into real estate after that, like I got into building houses and buying land after that. And so it's funny how it's correlated my name and what I do for work.

Paul Nottoli (25:53.978)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Paul Nottoli (26:00.933)
Yeah.

Paul Nottoli (26:04.793)
Yeah.

Bobby Oliver (26:17.358)
But yeah, Bobby the Builder 2 .0 and it's very fitting for sure.

Paul Nottoli (26:21.742)
Yeah. And that's another, I guess, another example of hope that you had in yourself and that it all, it all ended up working out in your favor as a, as a land real estate personnel. And now you're building a lot. Now you're doing lots of Bobby the builder.

Bobby Oliver (26:28.085)
Absolutely.

Bobby Oliver (26:32.288)
Yeah.

Bobby Oliver (26:36.32)
All the time, that's what we live for.

Paul Nottoli (26:38.788)
Yeah. And can you say your email one more time just to make sure that was.

Bobby Oliver (26:42.466)
Yeah, of course. it's bobbybobby .r .oliver at gmail.

Paul Nottoli (26:48.464)
Perfect. Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you for sharing your insights. And I love these interviews just because I learned different people's perspective on hope, but also I learned from the person themselves. Yeah, so I appreciate you sharing your story, your expertise. And in Vegas, I appreciate learning from you and your expertise on entrepreneurship and just business owner and just having a different perspective from what I do on a regular basis. It's refreshing and it's fun.

Bobby Oliver (27:06.134)
Of course!

Paul Nottoli (27:18.606)
awesome to learn from people.

Bobby Oliver (27:19.356)
I hear you. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so glad that we got to meet up and have gotten to know each other. So looking forward to getting to know you more and I'm sure I'll see you at another meetup, hopefully soon.

Paul Nottoli (27:31.151)
Yeah, at some point in time, I'm sure I'll be yeah, I know Sean and Lacey and Dave, they do stuff together all the time, so I'm sure I'll be somewhere that you're at in in near future. But thank you so much, Bobby. Appreciate you coming on.

Bobby Oliver (27:42.964)
Absolutely. All right. Thank you, Paul.